Train Your Child!

Ok, so you had a 'tough' childhood; wasn't raised with a silver spoon, didn't have things handed to you on a platter of gold, had to work really hard to get to where you are today and so on and so forth. This is the perspective from which you viewed your upbringing, was what you fed your psyche while growing up and is what eventually contributed to the mindset that is the driving force behind who you are and the decisions you make.
For this reason you decided well-ahead of having your own children that you wouldn't let them go through the same 'deprivation' (is that what I heard you call it??) that you did. The kids arrived and you followed through with your promise; before they ask for one thing you have given them two. Where you were taught to be independent and streetwise, you shielded your own offspring to the point of damage! Yes, you heard me right, DAMAGE! You are raising socially-maladjusted children, with no sense of value nor social responsibility. They go through life believing that the world owes them (for what, I wonder!), expecting the universe to give them whatever they desire, without once considering the 'give and take' philosophy that facilitates a functional society. And you thought your parents deprived you? What do you call what you are doing to your own kids by rendering them almost useless to self and society?

How easily have you forgotten that it is this so-called 'deprived upbringing' and any such experience that you gained in the 'University of Life' that made you who you are today? Has it ever crossed your mind that that perceived tough upbringing, or lack, actually contributed to what made you YOU, and to the work or business ethic that helped you to attain the successful position in which you are now basking? Could it have given you the tenacious spirit that makes you follow your dream and passion so doggedly?

So my, hopefully thought-provoking (or soul-searching), question to you is 'why are you now 'depriving' your offspring of the same opportunities that made you a success?' Could your parents' labour over you really have all been in vain? Have you wondered whether you are raising children who are fit to live in this 'tough' world; are they equipped enough to cope with or will they just crumble at the first sign of hardship? What will happen to them, I wonder (if you don't), if their boat rocks a little? Will they rely on someone else (remember, you've been doing it for them all their life!) to stabilise the boat without even bothering to find out the source, magnitude or gravity of the turbulence; completely trusting their own safety or very life to another person? Will they jump overboard mindlessly or simply wait until the boat goes down and them with it? I seriously wonder; am I alone here?

There is an African saying that 'a child that one does not raise right is bound to sell the house that one built and laboured for'. Yes, that's right! If you have not taught your offspring the value of money, why would you expect them to wait until you die before they claim their inheritance (that you spent all your life toiling for and mostly forgot to enjoy!).

Wise man Solomon said it all in Ecclesiastes (the Biblical book of wisdom):
"Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.” What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?

So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to
me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had
toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after
me. And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have
control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and
skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor
under the sun. For a person may labor with wisdom, knowledge and
skill, and then they must leave all they own to another who has not toiled for
it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. What do people get for all the
toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? All their days their work is
grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.
A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in
their own toil."

How very true are those words?

Some will even pay to have other people's children clean up after their own, so that their own children don't have to lift a finger! WOW! Is that meant to be some kind of proof of a person's status or level of wealth? Seriously? You would abdicate the responsibility for raising your own children to another, or better (or worse?) still, help another train his own children while believing you were using them to pamper yours? Hmmm, food for thought that, surely?

Do you vicariously live your life through your children, having managed to convince yourself (and anyone else who would listen), but deceiving no-one, that you are doing it for their sake? Really??? You secretly love professional music or dancing (or football etc) and would have killed to have had the opportunity to have received private tuition when you were growing up, but your parents either couldn't afford it at the time (they were too busy toiling to give you a future!) or weren't aware of your inherent skill or interest in them. So you decided even before you conceived that your children must study music or dance because it's a good skill to have. Again, really??? Hmmm, is it really for them or for you? Soul-searching time!

I'm just saying; just throwing my thoughts out there!

Actually, what I am trying to say here is that you should determine the skills that are natural to your own children then help them to harness them, thereby facilitating their success in life. Try not to compare your children to other people's children, for very obvious reasons. Try not to hinder the development of your offspring by depriving them of the opportunity to grow into their own skin and potential. They have wings, help them to use those wings; needless to say you will not always be around to fly for them!

Teach your children to believe in themselves.
Teach them how to fall and rise up again; with even more dignity.
Teach them that a person must work in order to eat.
Teach them that that which you work for the hardest stays with you the longest.Teach them that there is dignity in labour.
Teach them to value their time more than money; time once lost can never be regained.
Teach them that a person's gift makes way for him/her.
Teach them to be Lenders and never Borrowers.
Teach them to never compromise who they really are in order to become who the world thinks they should be.
Teach them the principle that states: 'from him to whom much is given, much more is expected'; really.
Teach them the principles of 'Good Stewardship'; what you look after will in turn look after you.
Teach them about the 'Law of Attraction'; that which you move towards gradually begins to move towards you.
Teach them the shallowness of a life devoid of principles, values or scruples.
Teach them the depth of a life that overflows into another.
Teach them how to confidently look the world in the face.
Teach them to live a life without barriers or limits.
Teach them to respect themselves and give no-one permission to put them down.
Teach them to have/show respect for and command respect from others.
Teach them how to laugh or cry with another person so that they never have to laugh or cry alone.

Find the best way to train your own children, and just train them! So that it can be said of you that 'you did all you could'. Get it?
Enough already with that mindset that holds your child's future to ransom!